January 2008 Archives

Since I'm working for the Clinton campaign, I can't comment on the Democratic primary, but I must point out what I think is a blatantly idiotic move on the Republican side.

John McCain ended 2007 with $4.5 million in debt, hampering his ability to capitalize on his SC/FL momentum by advertising in Super Tuesday states. But, Mitt Romney and his $200 million net worth should not have money woes. Yet, he is not advertising in Super Tuesday states! In many cases, politicians spending their own money is a terrible decision because they often get such low return on their dollars. (True, money and votes are often correlated, but I think that reflects that the ability to raise money is correlated with the ability to attract voters.) In high-information races (e.g., Governor, Senate, and President) political realities often trump personal wealth (viz: Steve Grossman in MA-Gov, Steve Forbes for Pres.).

However, Super Tuesday presents a unique opportunity for Romney. On, Tuesday of this week, the AP reported that neither Romney nor McCain had bought paid media for 2/5. That day, I began discussing this oddity with politico friends, who also found it odd, especially since Romney should be able to afford these advertisements. Simply put, he missed a huge opportunity to have the airwaves to himself in these crucial states. While political advertising can often be ineffective, especially in television markets inundated with paid media, being the only candidate on the air can be very beneficial. One need only look to Bush's flipping of West Virginia from Blue to Red in 2000 when his commercials went uncontested for (approx.) two weeks to see the power to television in politics.

Perhaps Romney thinks that McCain won't go on the air at all and he can consolidate his uncontested ad buy in the final days. But now he's let multiple pro-McCain news cycles (Florida, Rudy endorsement, etc.) proceed unabated, and I have no doubt that McCain has generated much-needed support (both in votes and cash) over this last week. When the Romney ad buy finally goes up, he might find the airwaves a bit more crowded than he expected. An additional investment of $20 million probably would have secured the nomination for Romney, and no matter what business you're in, that's a great rate of return.

I do some occasional consulting work, and I was on a conference call recently when this humorous event happened:

The "insiders" (incl. me) jumped on the call ahead of time to game-plan before the "partner representatives" showed up. But, some of the partners started getting on the call early. So our project lead tells them that by arriving early they get "to listen to the comedic stylings of Aaron Strauss."

Oy. Vey. Talk about being put on the spot! And telling a joke on a conference call is even harder than in person because you can't see the other people's reactions. I immediately regressed to one of the first three-line jokes I was ever taught. In 7th grade Speech and Drama class, Mr. Andrukonis would let people out early if they could complete the "182 pun." The first example he ever gave, and the one I used on the conference call was:

182 cows walk into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The cows say: "That's okay, we'll just go to the utter bar."

Now, on the call, I'm pretty nervous, and I'm trying to speed through the joke, so I don't lose people's attentions. But, I hit the punch line, and they all laugh. Phew. A colleague says that he "knows a five year old who would love that joke." Running with that line, I report that I've got another joke for five year olds. This pun I owe to one of my Wigwam campers:

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?

Now I've told this riddle/pun about a dozen times, and no one has ever come up with the answer. So it was a big surprise when one of the partners chimed in with "it was too tired."

At that point, we all agreed, it was time to start the meeting.

I've been threatening to write the following Dar Williams parody for about four years now. After last week's loss, it came together. And with tonight's win (wow were the pollsters wrong), I have more courage to post it. (Also, an Iowa "tell-all" post is coming as soon as I get sign-off from campaign people.)

Iowa (Campaigning Again)

I’ve never had a way with winners,
But the hills of Iowa make me wish that I could.
And I’ve never found a way to serve my country
But if the chance came by, oh I, I would

But way back where I come from, our parents taught us values
We don’t like to curb our passions with focus groups and polls
And we walk in the world of apathetics
And past midnight we trudge home and we pay the toll

Iowa…chorus [x2]

How I long to be in front for a little bit
To gain momentum and win on election night
But I fear that day is so far off
That I’ll be too old to enjoy the fight.

So you know I asked a friend about it, on a bad day,
Her candidate had just dropped out, she shredded a memo they left behind
She said “Why do this? Where does it get me?
Whoever created this calendar is no friend of mine.”

Iowa…chorus [x2]

Once I had everything, I gave it up
For a politician who struck me with the words I’d never heard.
And so for them I came this far, across the country,
Abandoning my life with complete disregard.
..and I’d do it again

For tonight I went canvassing through a 10-below windchill
Too scared that of a scenario that I could not bare to discuss:
You were a-wandering out on the hills of Iowa
and you were not caucusing for us.